Two main branches of Euro-Narnia deal directly with Roma peasants:
- The Ministry for Justice and Order for Key Europeans and BS for the Others, led by the Queen, and
- The Euro-Narnian Always Right Agency, or ARA, led by the Prince Senior.
In this chapter I will examine the fabulous skills that make the Queen and the Prince Senior the ideal leaders for these institutions, which deal with Euro-Narnia’s Roma issues. As with any high-level Euro-Narnian job, those in the most important positions dealing with Roma peasants have some carefully selected attributes. They are similar, but at the same time different, from the attributes expected from CEOs of private companies.
As explained in previous chapters, the Chosen Ones need to be Pure and as Remote from their subjects as possible in order to ensure minimal interference with Royal Revelations and Holy Judgments. Accordingly, hands-on work with Roma or in Roma communities, as well as academic experience on the subject, is to be avoided. Both the Queen and the Prince Senior have exceptional background in this regard: they have extensive experience in countries with some of the toughest laws against admitting Roma peasants on their territories. As a result, their countries of origins have very few Roma.
Their appointments and first speeches as our Royals coincided with a number of miracles: energy prices in Euro-Narnia dropped dramatically as Orwell started spinning at very high frequency in his grave, wars stopped as everybody watched the magnificent flocks of pigs flying over the World, and a number of Seniors and Royals woke up and made sense during their meetings with peasants.
Magnificent Working Plans (design and implementation)
Royals, including those in charge of Roma, are direct descendants from the Euro-Narnian Gods. Public Working Plans outlining what they intend to do to in order to achieve Roma social inclusion and curb anti-Gypsyism not only make no sense as no Gods need to justify themselves in front of the living worms, but they are a dangerous deviance from the Euro-Narnian Rules and considered apostasy. The Royals (be their names forever blessed by Baroslan) have Secret and Complex Working Plans revealed by the Highest Beings on golden plates. These plans cannot be shown or shared with anybody.
These revealed Working Plans have extraordinary impact on the lives of peasants that is easy to measure: whatever good has happened in the lives of peasants is because of these Plans; whatever bad has happened is due to vermin peasants and intellectuals that do not trust the Royals and trigger the anger of the Gods of Euro-Narnia.
Magnificent Holy Self-Evaluation and Monitoring
The Queen and Prince Senior are subject to tough evaluations, as the Higher Spirits and Baroslan continuously supervise the Royals. Baroslan and the Gods are also exceptionally Pure and Remote when it comes to Roma issues. Therefore, nobody is better placed to evaluate the Royals.
Moreover, self-monitoring takes place at all times during sleeping (but not while dreaming – this time is reserved for consultations and work with Roma). Sleep-induced evaluation and monitoring can happen at any time during the day (in particular, during meetings) or at night. It is a dangerous and highly exhausting process reserved for the most brave and courageous of the Euro-Narnians and other High Level Royals.
Exceptional Skills to Work and Consult with Stakeholders
There is no better example of the Royal Brilliant Skills (or Royal BS) than how they consult and work with us, the Roma peasants. The process is called Royal Dreaming Telepathy (RDT) and is amazingly efficient as it takes place during the most intense living periods of the Royals: their dreams. During RDT they are fully dedicated to listen to us and work on our many problems. Periodical Revelations (PR) fall on them sometimes even when they are awake. Royals spend significant amounts of time lecturing on PR to peasants, dining, or taking photos with other famous Euro-Narnians and Royalty from other Empires. Therefore, spending further time on consultations with Roma or Roma experts would be highly inefficient – a huge waste of Mighty Royal Neurons. The Prince Senior was a disappointment at the beginning of his reign, but nowadays he is clearly catching up with the PR and has improved this fundamental skill.
Efficient and Proper Use of Available Budgets
As explained in the first chapter of the Euro-Narnian chronicles, a good part of available resources are spent on meetings and reports about us, the peasants, and salaries for those Euro-Narnian martyrs that organize, participate, write and read the mighty Reports. Some of these meetings even include us, the Roma. All meetings the Royals attend need to take place in 4, but mostly 5 stars hotels in order to avoid angering the Gods of Euro-Narnia. Such meetings are known for producing important prime quality hot air that is vital for the well being of Royals. Important Holy Reports are published only with the condition that they do not disturb the good mood and Revealed ideas Royals have about Roma peasants. Reports cost, on average, about the same as the yearly budget of a medium-sized peasant community. These reports are hugely popular – hundreds of thousands of Roma gather to cheer whenever one is released.
Exceptional Skills in Human Resources (HR) Management
A Beacon of Professionalism when it comes to HR management is the Prince Senior.
Recently, a vermin slave dared to sue the Royal for psychological harassment. Immediately (i.e. a year later, in peasant time) the Prince Senior appointed an Independent Investigator (i.e. close friend, in peasant language) to examine the complaint. The Investigator happened to be the chairperson of organization X, where the Price ruled before he was appointed to lead the ARA. The ARA paid organization X an insignificant 500 000 euro for writing one of the Holy Reports during the reign of the Prince there. The organisation was to receive another grant from the ARA during the time of the investigation.
Impartially, the Investigator decided that no harassment had occurred. The amazing refreshing odor that followed the decision was just the result of Euro-Narnian Gods rejoicing and enjoying their well-fermented Camembert cheese. Some unsophisticated and jealous non-Euro-Narnians thought it was the worst stench ever coming from the ARA.
Our Royals have built around them strong expert teams able to induce the most profound dreams ever – ensuring in this way an almost perfect consultation between Royals and the peasants. They work their magic even with us, the peasants, in long meetings that are also dedicated to the very important hot air production.
They also employ carefully chosen people to protect the Royals from any peasant opinions that do not fit with the Royal Revelations and ensure the required amount of criticism (i.e. lip service, in peasant language) appropriate for each Royal. The Queen in particular has some exceptionally gifted critics around her.
The Roma team of the Queen is led, as explained in previous chapters, by people as close to Purity as the Queen. The Prince Senior’s team previously included the only Euro-Narnian in the ARA with real experience on Roma. The expert was wisely and rightly sidetracked, as Expert views could dangerously influence the dreams the Prince had about us.
As explained in a previous chapter, the Queen and the Prince Senior are highly inspirational; through sheer talking they can make pigs fly and fish walk. The Queen displays many pictures of herself together with other Inspirational Leaders in her office, another clear proof of her qualities.
Both of the Royals are, as previously mentioned, exceptionally skilled at producing exquisite, rare and very expensive hot air. Such air production is cherished and carefully imitated by tens of Roma peasants aspiring to become Euro-Narnians and even Seniors one day.
Both of the Royals, as you might expect, do their work on Roma out of passion and dedication for us. They love us and they are concerned to fix and save us. They take many risks on our behalf; two are worth mentioning. The first is exhaustion due to long evaluation and monitoring sleeps, and the second is radiation due to the Royal Dream Telepathy process used for close consultations and work with us.
For these sacrifices they receive a meager compensation of only 20 to 100 times the average salary for peasants in all the Euro-Narnian Kingdoms. The Queen receives around 25 000 euro per month, while the gallant Prince Senior receives a smaller sum of 18 000 euro per month.
There are people in Euro-Narnia that know a lot about Roma and have worked with Roma. There is at least one such Royal, and a number (less than ten, as any double digit could dangerously affect the Mighty Equilibrium) of low-level Euro-Narnians. Some try cunningly and shamefully to influence the Mighty Work in directions that could be understood by us peasants, but hopefully the Pure Royals and Baroslan will stop such Shame to strike against the Kingdom.
For many years other governments and institutions (including Roma-focused ones) employed people based on the Purity rules. Nowadays things are slowly and dangerously changing but Euro-Narnia (blessed it be by Baroslan) remains strong in its position, and hopefully will lead the way to the best solution for us, the Roma.
A number of kingdoms in Euro-Narnian launched recently a brave new initiative that might be a source of inspiration everywhere else it is called – only Key Kings for the Kingdom for Roma or KKK for Roma.