I decided following a very recent meeting that I should make my views about the Roma stereotypes known in order to avoid yet another silly meeting with well-wishing cretins. I hope people will read this before meeting me.

We have an innate gift for music and dance.

Yes .We can also walk on water and fly whenever needed on brooms and in some countries (where people call us crows) without brooms just using our gifts: hollow bones and strong arms. We can even teach the most gifted non-Roma how to do it.

This is also the main reason why the state airlines in Hungary went bankrupt and the Romanian airlines are almost there.

There are numerous cases of Roma children born holding their beloved musical instrument or a silver flute in their mouth. The rest of us have just divine voices.

We can tell you your future

Indeed. For instance – you my reader –  you will struggle, go through cycles of happiness, boredom, sadness, depression … You will love some people and hate others. You might or might not have children but the probability is better to have children. Ultimately and irrevocably you will die.

All the other people that say they can tell your future –teachers, coaches, scientists, shrinks, politicians, priests, sociopaths etc most probably will lie to you.

If you plan to  go soon for a Roma fortune telling -the future will be much clearer. In the immediate future you will be cheated.  You might feel good about it but that is the best you will get out of the experience. Go if you want to boast that you met Roma, know Roma or that you have a Roma friend.

Secret customs and mysterious traditions

We do.  We practice our secret customs and traditions in a parallel universe we cal DI (Don’t be an Idiot).

Our secret customs and mysterious traditions allow us to be separately and at the same time discriminated angels or genetically determined criminals depending on the mood of the journalist, politician, bureaucrats or whoever else wants to talk about us.

We are dirty and stink 

Yes, when we are dirty most of us stink. You might smell like roses after you worked hard, dealt with garbage or working out at your gym but that is a gift is reserved for you and your close friends and relatives.  Roma that live in abject poverty have a higher probability to stink, which is proportional to their – you guessed – abject poverty.

It might be that you think if you were blessed to have been born in a slum next by to a garbage dump you would have ended up as a walking advertisement of a mix of Ariel, Armani and Chanel 5 but it is more likely you are just an average racist.

If you think that humans natural instinct is to make soap, detergent and shampoo and put cleaning high above in their basic needs -then you are special and deserve to run us all and be called Ra, Saint Peter, the Saint Feathered Snake, Viviane Reding or whatever will do for you.

We are free souls, overly emotional and much better in touch with nature than the other

Compared to the idiotic bureaucrats and diplomats that think they make me a compliment by saying this we are indeed like that. Otherwise we are just as boring as you are.